confidence, life coaching, Mumpreneur, Relationships, Self belief, Self development, self love

Visualise the confident woman you want to be 💫

Confident women  don’t grow on trees. Confidence grows from within you. It takes time to establish it. Especially if you have struggled with it. Consumed with fear, anxiety, judgements.

I still remember the days when I could barely look in the mirror, I didn’t like the reflection staring back at me. It caused me so much discomfort. Photos I hated with a passion. Deep down I knew I wasn’t happy, and I felt completely helpless. Everything I tried didn’t make any difference.

As I travelled through the days, weeks and months I had just accepted that I was ‘ugly’ full of flaws and imperfections that I could not accept.

Those days were dark, distant, confusing. I wished I was someone else. Anyone but me.

As time passed I took action to make small steps to move myself forward, I had to. My children needed me to woman up and sort out my insecurities.

My journey was tough, it was hard facing reality, when I all knew was to ignore it, keep suppressing it. When I found EFT I realised there was so much of me that was just not what I thought, my negative perceptions of myself were not true at all… they were all part of things I had been taught, told, made to believe.

As I progressed through learning EFT as a practitioner, I found some peace, and my energy was shifting, my confidence was coming back. As I plodded through my emotional state I noticed little shifts, and from this there was a realisation that if I wasn’t clear on what I truly wanted how would I grow into the woman I wanted to be.

I started taking small steps everyday. Below is how I implemented Visualisation to help me grow into the woman I am today 🥰

Step 1. Find a quiet space where you can close your eyes and simply breathe.

Step 2. Begin to focus on a place where you feel at peace, the beach, an open meadow, a castle, in your garden, in your room. A place that is warm, open and inviting. A place where peace and gratitude fill you to just be yourself.

Step 3. Listen to what is around you, if you are on a beach is there gentle waves, in a Field is the wind rustling the grass leaves, pay real attention to what is going on around you.

Step 4. Remember this is your space, your space to just be. Your space to do what you want with no judgement. Imagine that your confidence is shining through you. Visualise yourself as the confident woman you want to be. Do you want to dance without fear of judgment? Do you want to shout and say all the things that you don’t have the confidence to normally. Visualise as much as you can through this experience being specific and factual about what you want.

Step 5. Repeat this exercise every single day… letting go of the negative self talk, ignoring those limiting beliefs, you can be anything you want. You ARE a confident woman. This exercise will help you remember how confident, free and beautiful you are.

Step 6. Persist! Even if you are having a day when you can’t be bothered, do it anyway.

Step 7. Embrace the confidence that lies within you, it’s waiting for you to show up.

 

For more information Sign up today & Recieve your FREE E-Book plus more! 

Confident

Transformational
28 Days to Personal Power, life coaching, Mumpreneur, Relationships, Self development

Transform your LIFE, because you can!

Transform your life, you deserve to live your best life

Can you imagine how it would feel to transform your life and:

When you choose to transform your life, you will be empowered, feel focused, have increased motivation, be clear in what you want, believe in yourself again, feel confident, have less anxiety and fear, notice a more positive mindset, live a life you LOVE.

Are you ready to step up and Transform YOUR life?

assorted silver colored pocket watch lot selective focus photo

Transform your life now and reclaim your power!

 

If you could have the life you wanted, but not as much stress? How would that feel for you? Get involved and join our community on Facebook.

I have been where you are, I know exactly how you feel, it does get better. Transformational Life Coaching will help you get there. Try it for yourself  – Click here to find out more.

Some people call it living the dream, other people call it freedom, and some simply say… If only! When you believe you can you will! Just like making a cup of tea or coffee you learnt how to do that and now have the confidence to do it without thinking. But there was a time you couldn’t. We have to start somewhere. 

Book Your Discovery Call Now. Sign up today!

Take a step back for 30 seconds, close your eyes and ask yourself this:

Are you living the life you hoped for?

If you said no, you’ve come to the right place. Let me show you how you can find out how you can be the leader of your life, step into your own power and live the life you thought you could only dream of. Transformational Coaching is waiting for you. 

 

Happy
life coaching, negative beliefs, Relationships, Self belief

When will you decide to be happy?

I wasn’t truly happy…

remembering those days when nothing I did was good enough. Every corner I turned there was another obstacle, another problem, another issue.

My life was based around other people being happy, and when they weren’t happy I couldn’t be. Happy

As life went on, this became a habit. I wouldn’t allow myself to be happy… then I established this old belief that if I ‘get happy’ more s*** would hit the fan! I wasn’t wrong in that belief due to the circumstances I was in. But… as I changed my life, this old habit stayed with me! This old belief wouldn’t go, so for some time I remained unhappy!

There was always something to complain about or be sad about, or be problematic in my life.

This belief was based on experience, I could not allow myself to be happy, as if I was something / someone would come along and crush that  joy within me.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn, for me to be truly happy within, I had to learn ‘how’! Crazy stuff right there! Are you are in this space? Get in touch! 

When you are surrounded by critical people who are unhappy in themselves, you can pick up their traits and adopt these behaviours particularly if you have been around it for some time.

Being truly happy means to be content in your own skin! No longer allowing your flaws to be a problem. EMBRACE the flaws within you... you are a unique being, not part of the crowd and you definitely do not have to ‘fit’ inside their box!

CREATE YOUR OWN BOX

Happy

What makes you happy? Make a list of the things that fill your heart with joy… make a list of the hobbies you do, find gratitude in your life and amazing things start to happen!

If you would like some support transforming your life, come and join us in our facebook community. Click Here

Kick start 2019 with self love
28 Days to Personal Power, life coaching, Relationships, self love, self sabotage

The power of self love to kick start 2019

Self love is the most vital part to make sure your goals for 2019 are reached. I’ve been on this journey for two years now, and self love keeps coming back as the starting point. In every training session, every book, every webinar series and every blog I’ve read in relation to transformation and change all starts with this basic human need. SELF LOVE.  

In my weekly email today, I’ve shared a very basic technique that can be done in just a few minutes each day to help you learn the art of Self Love.

My mentor once said to me, “Vicki, darling, if you do not love yourself you cannot love others this includes your children” I was furious, how dare anyone imply (In my perspective) I don’t love my children, they are my everything. But this is not what she meant I can’t stress this point enough. It took me a long while to grasp what self love was. So let’s take a look at self love and what it means to us as individuals.

Unconditional love to me wasn’t something I was familiar with. I thought I knew what self love meant. But unfortunately I learnt the hard way. My understanding of self love was to be, do and have all that I worked hard for. When I failed at something there was no self love. I would be so hard on myself and could not forgive myself at all. Which in turn meant I was carrying heavy burdens and putting additional pressure on myself to do better next time. The stress this had on me was extremely unhealthy but at the same time was all I knew. This was my ‘normal’. 

We can become aware of unconditional love, and yet there can still be something missing from the link, when we tell ourselves we are acting in self love we can actually be acting in self sabotage. We can also have the subconscious self sabotage. I’ll explain this in more depth below:

Example 1: Starting a diet – we get ready, set the date and the date arrives and we stick to our plan, our goal etc… THEN… day 2 – we eat something we shouldn’t. Then day 3 we are good again. Then day 4 we sabotage again. This yo-yo cycle is because of the levels of self love we have inside. If we do not truly love ourselves or believe we are worthy (which also stems from self love) we sabotage on both a conscious / subconscious level.

Example 2: Being more active – we embrace the gym… being part of gym life we need a balanced diet to help our muscles, heart and breathing. We go to the gym to be healthy, but come out of the gym and eat cake. Saying to ourselves I’ve just burnt it off so it will be OK. This completely defeats the object of going to the gym to get healthy. Other examples might include skipping the gym… leading to not going to the gym at all.

Example 3: Making time for you – block out time for you in the diary but this other thing also needs to be done… you do the other thing instead of taking you time.

In the examples above these are just some of the ways we show ourselves we are not loving ourselves, and not worthy. Everything to do with self love starts with your commitment to yourself. What makes self love so important to day to day life? 

Life can become really mundane, unfocused and stressful. Always doing the same thing, putting everyone else’s needs before your own and eventually you become worn out, ill, and forced to take some down time. Here are some negative things that happen when we are not functioning in self love:

  1. We can become resentful
  2. We can be easily irritated
  3. We can lack focus
  4. We stop taking care of ourselves
  5. Energy levels decrease
  6. Things you would normally do become stressful
  7. Time is consumed with negative unproductive thoughts
  8. Overwhelm can take over
  9. Patience levels are reduced
  10. Stress overtakes us

When we step into self love we function on a more positive level, here are some things that can happen when you are living in self love:

  1. You have reduced anger
  2. You feel secure
  3. You feel warm inside
  4. Other peoples judgement’s and opinions don’t affect you
  5. Energy levels naturally increase
  6. Negative reactions decrease
  7. We tackle our dreams and goals with ease
  8. We eat better and drink more water nourishing our bodies
  9. We don’t get sick

We feel calm and at peace with ourselves  LoveIncorporating self love into your daily routine will have positive impacts on your journey. Regardless of what your goal is. Whether your goal is business / work related, home, parenting, relationships or lifestyle etc…  The positive impact of self love is profound. I have personally tried and tested this theory and each time I focus on self love, I give myself permission to let go of negativity and life is a much better place all round. 

For more information and weekly updates sign up to mailing list. Each week there will be different focus points, exercises and information to help you on your journey.

[yikes-mailchimp form=”3″]

  

Relationships, self love, self sabotage

People pleasing is not a positive trait

Have you ever got lost in people pleasing trying to keep everyone else happy, do the right thing for everybody else, but also sometimes recognise that the right thing for them is hindering you?

There’s an element of self satisfaction in the process of pleasing others. Knowing that we are helping, and doing good, it’s good for the soul, but are you doing it for the right reasons?

Helping others is all part of life, its a way we prove to the world that we are good people and have kind hearts and its human nature. We are raised to help and support everyone and anyone we can, to show we have humanity. Some more kindness from others in the world shows that we are compassionate and loving creatures, but we can over do this kindness and hinder our own lives.

When we want to help but we have our own things to do to we can feel stressed that we are helping out and not doing our own tasks.

People pleasing also comes with a self- sabotage, we may lose our freedom of speech out of fear we may upset someone for how we feel.

How do we recognise we are people pleasing? Here’s some traits you may be able to resonate with:

  1. You don’t admit when your feelings are hurt
  2. You need praise to feel good
  3. You apologise often 
  4. You can’t say no
  5. You feel responsible for how others feel
  6. You pretend to agree with everyone
  7. You avoid conflict 
  8. You act like the people around you
  9. You feel burdened by the things you have to do 
  10. You feel uncomfortable when people are angry with you 

 

How many of the above traits can you relate to?

What can you do to help yourself in the future? To be true to who you really are? In an ideal world it would be great if we could say… Stop! I’m just going to stop all of this right now. I’m no longer going to be a people pleaser. If only it was that easy, right?

In relationships, friends, family, partners etc… we all love them so much that we just want them to be happy and the reality is we fear being true to ourselves out of fear we are going to push them away, upset them or worse, cause an argument. Nobody likes dealing with conflict and many of us in the world fear it, so to make life easier we simply avoid speaking our truths to the ones we love.

Speaking our truth may be hard, but realistically when we hold back our own thoughts, feelings and words we are holding on to the fear. This is turn makes it difficult to be who we are. Fearing other peoples judgments, reactions and so much more.

Being a good hearted, kind person has nothing to do with breaking your own back, it’s about doing what you can without putting yourself on the line ALL THE TIME. Remaining focused on our own lives but helping and assisting where we can.

A little bit like a child, who cannot voice what they want, as an adult around that child we help that child find their voice, but what we forget as adults is we also need to speak up and let our voices be heard. It really does make all the difference, to our own inner peace.

activity adult barbecue bbq
Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels.com

Things to try when you can’t voice your truth: 

  1. Start a journal, write how you are feeling and establish what you are afraid of. Putting pen to paper really can help you speak without you having to face possible conflict
  2. Speak to a friend or peer who is non-judgmental and able to help you work out what you believe to be true
  3. Learn to say NO, we don’t have to be abrupt or rude, but a ‘no thank you’ or ‘not today, but thank you’ is sometimes all we need to do to stay in our power.
  4. Find your boundaries, yes even relationships need boundaries. You cannot be in demand to all your relationships and still achieve your own goals and dreams, sometimes we have to have boundaries so we can still be ourselves.
  5. Take time for you. Give yourself time to be YOU!
  6. Be honest with yourself, if you don’t want to do something say NO

Sometimes people pleasing can come from deeper or darker days depending on how you look at it, people pleasing is a way for us humans to ‘keep the peace’, which is a trait we may have carried with us from childhood. Take a moment to think back to when you fist displayed any of the people pleasing signs, were you a child trying to ‘do as you are told’, ‘avoid reprisal’ or ‘make the parents happy’.