Self love is the most vital part to make sure your goals for 2019 are reached. I’ve been on this journey for two years now, and self love keeps coming back as the starting point. In every training session, every book, every webinar series and every blog I’ve read in relation to transformation and change all starts with this basic human need. SELF LOVE.
In my weekly email today, I’ve shared a very basic technique that can be done in just a few minutes each day to help you learn the art of Self Love.
My mentor once said to me, “Vicki, darling, if you do not love yourself you cannot love others this includes your children” I was furious, how dare anyone imply (In my perspective) I don’t love my children, they are my everything. But this is not what she meant I can’t stress this point enough. It took me a long while to grasp what self love was. So let’s take a look at self love and what it means to us as individuals.
Unconditional love to me wasn’t something I was familiar with. I thought I knew what self love meant. But unfortunately I learnt the hard way. My understanding of self love was to be, do and have all that I worked hard for. When I failed at something there was no self love. I would be so hard on myself and could not forgive myself at all. Which in turn meant I was carrying heavy burdens and putting additional pressure on myself to do better next time. The stress this had on me was extremely unhealthy but at the same time was all I knew. This was my ‘normal’.
We can become aware of unconditional love, and yet there can still be something missing from the link, when we tell ourselves we are acting in self love we can actually be acting in self sabotage. We can also have the subconscious self sabotage. I’ll explain this in more depth below:
Example 1: Starting a diet – we get ready, set the date and the date arrives and we stick to our plan, our goal etc… THEN… day 2 – we eat something we shouldn’t. Then day 3 we are good again. Then day 4 we sabotage again. This yo-yo cycle is because of the levels of self love we have inside. If we do not truly love ourselves or believe we are worthy (which also stems from self love) we sabotage on both a conscious / subconscious level.
Example 2: Being more active – we embrace the gym… being part of gym life we need a balanced diet to help our muscles, heart and breathing. We go to the gym to be healthy, but come out of the gym and eat cake. Saying to ourselves I’ve just burnt it off so it will be OK. This completely defeats the object of going to the gym to get healthy. Other examples might include skipping the gym… leading to not going to the gym at all.
Example 3: Making time for you – block out time for you in the diary but this other thing also needs to be done… you do the other thing instead of taking you time.
In the examples above these are just some of the ways we show ourselves we are not loving ourselves, and not worthy. Everything to do with self love starts with your commitment to yourself. What makes self love so important to day to day life?
Life can become really mundane, unfocused and stressful. Always doing the same thing, putting everyone else’s needs before your own and eventually you become worn out, ill, and forced to take some down time. Here are some negative things that happen when we are not functioning in self love:
- We can become resentful
- We can be easily irritated
- We can lack focus
- We stop taking care of ourselves
- Energy levels decrease
- Things you would normally do become stressful
- Time is consumed with negative unproductive thoughts
- Overwhelm can take over
- Patience levels are reduced
- Stress overtakes us
When we step into self love we function on a more positive level, here are some things that can happen when you are living in self love:
- You have reduced anger
- You feel secure
- You feel warm inside
- Other peoples judgement’s and opinions don’t affect you
- Energy levels naturally increase
- Negative reactions decrease
- We tackle our dreams and goals with ease
- We eat better and drink more water nourishing our bodies
- We don’t get sick
We feel calm and at peace with ourselves Incorporating self love into your daily routine will have positive impacts on your journey. Regardless of what your goal is. Whether your goal is business / work related, home, parenting, relationships or lifestyle etc… The positive impact of self love is profound. I have personally tried and tested this theory and each time I focus on self love, I give myself permission to let go of negativity and life is a much better place all round.
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