I’ll never forget my reaction when my mentor asked me to forgive the past. I nearly spat my dummy out the rage that came from within.
How could I forgive all the wrongs and injustices that had been carried out. All the upset, trauma and disgust. I carried immense rage. Any sign of injustice or someone being horrible to someone and that was it, I would flip.
To say I had anger issues is an understatement. But we chose to look a little deeper. The truth was I couldn’t forgive myself for the past things that had happened to me. For inside I blamed myself so my mission was to not make the same mistakes again and the only way I could protect myself was to be angry at myself and be hard on myself.
When I began to let go of the resistance and find some forgiveness and compassion for myself I found myself sobbing.
If anyone ever showed me kindness I would well up with tears and struggle to hold them back. Kindness was not known to me, it overwhelmed me.
I pushed through the resistance and learn that my resistance to forgiveness was because I wasn’t taught to be forgiving, it wasn’t in our blood.
Holding grudges seemed the way to live life.
Did this help me? Or did this hinder me?
I can assure you, it hindered me. It stopped me from being at peace from the inside out.
It stopped me from feeling forgiveness to myself, it stopped me from moving on with my life. I was trapped in the past.
When I fully engaged in forgiveness and realised that actually it was better to forgive, forget and move on. I found a new kind of freedom in my heart. My body felt lighter and I felt more at peace in myself.
So perhaps forgiving others is better for you than you think.
Emotional pain causes physical pain and many other negative traits in the body.
Learning to forgive yourself, will empower you to forgive others and move forward in a positive and much more life fulfilling way.
Start now, give yourself permission to forgive 💖 you deserve it!